Kidz Bop Is a High Form Of Art

I'm sure many of you are aware of the music groups Kidz Bop. You know, CD you got at McDonald's that one time and then threw into the trash. The concept of Kidz Bop is to take whatever song is currently trending and getting a bunch of children to sing them. After all, why would you listen to the real song when you can listen to a bunch of prepubescent squeakers sing them instead, right? I myself want to see a Puberty Bop album, filled with voice cracks and other puberty related stuff. Maybe a Senior Citizens Bop, where our favorite folks from the local retirement home do their best to sing the new hip music! Heck, how about a Kidz KPop, where they sing Korean pop songs-

Oh wait, they already did that. The horror!

I'm not sure how these albums keep being made, who keeps buying them? They've been going on since 2000, and it doesn't look like they're going to stop anytime soon. It's been going on for so long, this band has replaced more members than Kiss. I wonder what happened to these kids, did they ever go on to do anything else in life, or is this the only noteworthy thing they've ever done? Do people ever make fun of them for their past? Were any members in Kidz Bop ever murdered? Are all the members in Kidz Bop created in a laboratory to be the perfect Tween Stars? I wouldn't be surprised if they were.

Kidz Bop also tours around doing concerts! I myself have never been to a concert in my life, so I feel like Kidz Bop would be a good introduction. Maybe I could take my nonexistent girlfriend with me to the concert, that would make for a great date. Sure, it would be awkward since everyone else there would be a 6 year old girl, but come on, Kidz Bop, man!

Since I don't know what else to talk about, I'm just going to post the worst Kidz Bop songs I could find. Be warned that they are the worst things ever, and the weak hearted should avoid listening to them. You've been warned.

Remember to praise your almighty Ogrelord, kids.

I like call these two the "IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM" bundle.

Also, neither of the main singers in these songs sound like they're kids.

I don't think anyone can deny that this is the worst one of the bunch. Let's take Crazy Frog, the most annoying song of the early 2000's and get a bunch of kids to sing it, what could go wrong? EVERYTHING. Everything the could go wrong did go wrong with this song. It doesn't even sound like anyone here is trying, I feel so bad for the people that had to sing this. This makes me so mad, the same species that landed on the moon made this. The human race is truly a mixed bag of awful.

To be honest, I could have put anything on this list. The band is just so bad, that I could have put anything on here and it wouldn't have made a difference. I'm just glad they haven't touched my favorite band, They Might be Giants. I guess they're not relevant enough in this modern day and age. At least humanity has got that going for it. Did I miss any of the truly awful songs? Be sure to let me know if I did. I would sure love to torture myself some more with awful songs made worse by children singing them! Then again, no one reads this garbage blog anyways, so I that probably won't be happening anytime soon. I think I just dodged a bullet. Yay for being unpopular!

"Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: All Star Battle" Review

Warning: You will probably have no clue what I'm talking about in this post. I also go full weeaboo, so beware of that

Have I ever mentioned my unhealthy obsession for the series Jojo's Bizarre Adventure? Because I think I may be too attached to this series. Ever since I watched all of the anime on a totally legal video website, I can't help myself from posing fabulously during the day, or making some reference that no one will understand. It's consumed my entire being, and there's nothing I can do about it. So one day, I decided to order the PS3 game online to see if it was any good. I had my hopes really high, I could make DIO from Part 1 fight his older self from Part 3! I could make Josuke from Part 4 get pissed about his hair! I could make Jojo from Part 2 predict the next line of any of the other characters in game! It was like a dream come true for me, I could finally live out my stupidest Jojo related fantasies in this game! I borrowed my cousin's boyfriend's PS3 just so I could play this one game. How was the game, you may ask? It's OK.

The game is a fighting game, and fairly "Meh" one at that. Maybe it's just that I'm not used to 3D fighting games, or that I'm not used to the PS3 controller for fighting games. The combat itself also felt really slow, but then again it may have been my unfamiliarity with the poopy PS3 controller I had. I mean, the game itself was fun to play once I had gotten used to it, but it's nothing compared to the Arcade Game that came out back in the day. Either way, I had a week to play the game until I had to return the PS3, so I might as well make the most with what I had! After all, I could still play as DIO and beat the shit out of everyone in Arcade mode! Time to go and pick DIO, my man-

The game's starting roster

...Where the hell is DIO?

And now we come to the biggest problem in the game: You have to unlock characters! It's a fairly common thing to have to unlock characters in fighting games, but if you look up there, over half of the roster needs to be unlocked! I would understand having a few unlockable characters, but not most of the gosh dang roster! If I were to bring this game over to a friend's house to play it, we'd either have to waste out time unlocking some characters, or just deal with the 14 starting characters. DIO isn't even a starting character. You know, DIO, arguably the most iconic Jojo character! No, in order to unlock DIO, you have to play through a Story Mode. A really, really crappy story mode. The story mode has you fighting characters and playing through the of a certain part of the game, as you probably expected. Here are the problems with story mode:

1. The game is missing some key playable characters from the series, so the story feels empty

2. You only play one stage for each of the volumes for story mode. You'll be fighting Kakyoin for the first time in Cairo, where the final battle took place. Because that makes sense.

3. It's so boooring. I just want to play as DIO, let me play as DIO!

The worst part is I didn't unlock any of the characters past Part 3. I've only read up until halfway through Part 4, so I didn't want to spoil the rest of the series by playing through the crappy story mode. I ended up just playing story mode for 2 hours to unlock everyone just so I could have fun playing the game, and by the time I did unlock some of the characters, I didn't want to play the game anymore! I ended up so bored playing through the awful story mode that I just kind of gave up on the game. Now that I don't have the PS3 I borrowed, I regret not trying some of the other characters from later parts. I was so busy with unlocking characters that I forgot to have fun playing the game. Now I don't have the PS3 with me, and I can't play the game. At least the box would look good on display, it can show off that I'm a total Jojo nerd, even though I've mostly just watched the anime, because I'm a filthy scrublord who hasn't read the manga.

And with that, I end my stupid rambling. Oops, I'm a total weeaboo about Jojo, have fun sending a lynch mob to my house. At least someone will be coming over to visit. Curse you, lonely summers. I just want a hug.

I'm back from the dead!

Hello, readers of this stupid blog! I have returned from the underworld to bring back my apparently humorous posts, just for you! Expect more posts for the rest of this month, and maybe even some videos, assuming I don't end up being a lazy potato and not doing anything. Be sure to spam me until I do that!