You're a Kid now, You're a Squid now

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The Splatoon Global Test Fire!

Last weekend, Nintendo had a global online demo where you could play their newest IP for the Wii U, Splatoon. Splatoon is a 3rd person shooter, where you take control of a humanoid squid called an "Inkling", and use various water gun related weapons to shoot ink in order to cover an area of your teams color. Inklings also have the ability to turn into a squid and swim in your own team's color of ink, increasing your movement speed. Whichever team has the most ink of their color at the end of a round wins. It's a really creative concept for a shooter, and it feels so refreshing to have some color in a shooter other than brown-ish grey.

Now, I participated in the global online demo this weekend, and I'm here to share some of my thoughts on the game. I've been exited for this game since its reveal last year, and I'm so glad I finally got to play it. Even though I could only use 4 weapons in the demo, it was a blast to play. At first, it was really hard for me to figure out how the controls worked. I'm usually not very good at these kinds of games, but after a while, I got used to the controls and learned a few techniques, and then I started winning most of the matches I played, and it was a blast. I felt really bummed out that I had to stop playing after the 1 hour online demo was over, I wanted to keep playing for hours on end. It's hard to believe that this is just a demo of the game, I probably had one of the most exiting experiences with an online shooter that I've ever had.

By far my favorite of the 4 weapons you could use in the demo was the normal SplatterShot, and maybe the SplatterShot Jr, since it had that shield special move, which really helps with battles. A lot of people seem to be saying that the roller is the best weapon by far, and that it might even be considered OP, but I never had any trouble taking out people with the roller. When you have a gun and they're running towards you with a short ranged melee weapon, it's not that difficult for me to take out a roller user. Event though I didn't like the Roller very much, by far my least favorite weapon is the Charger. It's supposed to be a long range sniping weapon, but I feel like it has a too short of a range to be a good sniping tool, honestly. Plus, ussually when I hit someone with a charged shot, they didn't even die. However, the worst part of the Charger has to be that it's very bad at covering turf. Since the main point of the game is to cover the most turf with your teams color, this makes the Charger a much less viable weapon for covering ground.

Overall, I'd say Splatoon is definitely worth getting. It launches on May 29th, or this Friday. I'll be sure to pick it up on launch date, so if you somehow happen to own a Wii U, I'd recommend picking it up. If you do happen to pick up the game, message me, and we could probably work something out to play it together. Until then, I'd recommend looking into this game if you're interested. If you want to know more about the game, click here to watch a video about the game, it shows off almost everything related to Splatoon. There's a lot more about the game that I didn't talk about in this blog, including a singleplayer campaign.

I talk about Frozen for some reason

Frozen is one of the most successful movies in recent time, both critically and financially. I myself thought the movie was simply "meh", but like many people, I couldn't stand the huge following it had obtained. People singing "Let it Go" everywhere I went. You have no clue how hard it was to volunteer as a camp counselor for a drama camp, when every week some kid would want to be Elsa in one of the plays the kids got to write and preform.  After 3 weeks of someone asking to be Elsa, we eventually got sick of it and decided to banish any Frozen related things from any of the performances.

It truly is impressive how popular this movie has become. Even now, I still see merchandise everywhere over a year after the movie's release. I myself like to call those little girls who have all sorts of Frozen merchandise and toys and clothes "Elsaheimer's diseases" because I'm a horrible person. I haven't seen anything like it since Shrek was on every single product back in the mid 2000's. I see it everywhere, not even Club Penguin is safe from the Frozen virus, getting multiple events to promote the movie, as if it needed any more.

However, even with all of these things, there is one thing that annoys me more than anything this movie has spewed out. Something that induces rage into my body at the simple sight of. Behold, the spawn of the underworld: Olaf.

I have a supreme hatred for this snowman. I was told that he was supposed to be the funniest character in the entire movie, and that "I would love him". Oh, my feelings towards this abomination are the opposite of any sort of affection. I never laughed at anything this creature did, rather, I simply cringed at the fact that this thing was supposed to be funny. I myself never found the "Lovable Idiot" stereotype to be funny, usually it just ends up being really, really annoying. To me, nothing is worse than a character that doesn't exist for any reason other to be funny or appeal the kids. At the end of the movie after all the snow vanished, I was hoping to see Olaf melt and die, but no, he get's his own personal snow cloud, which somehow keeps him from melting. Perfect. Don't even get me started on how he sings, either. His only song is about how he wants to see summer, which I'm guessing is supposed to be funny, since he's a snowman. It came off as really annoying and stupid. Maybe I just have no sense of humor, but every single time I look at that stupid smile of his, I get the sudden urge to physically hurt him. I would love to simply lure Olaf into a Pizza oven, telling him there was free candy in there or something. Of course, he'd happily walk in, only to find the door closed behind him. Then I would get to witness the pure joy of watching that stupid face of his turn into a face of pure terror, as he slowly melts into a puddle. Where's your cloud now, huh? Once he had become nothing more than a puddle, I'd take that puddle of his, along with his carrot nose, and make myself some nice carrot stew, with a fire flamed by his coal buttons. Then, I'd feed that stew to the homeless, so something good could come from his pure terribleness.

How much you want to bet I'll be sent to a therapist for this post?